My Inspiration

​Growing up, I always found most of my inspiration from my mother. Even though she was diagnosed with this very rare disease when I was so young, I always remember her being joyful in every circumstance this illness threw at her. For my family, it has been difficult to watch my mom suffer in more ways than one. Internally, by her coughing attacks, broken ribs, and shortness of breath. Also, externally, by losing physical function with her hands specifically. These years of my life were very formative for me because I realized what it is like to serve with a giving and generous heart.

There would be many days in middle school where I would feel so out of place because I would look around and see all these kids with their moms’ playing sports or doing fun activities with their moms on Mother’s Day, but my mom would never be able to come out and fully be able to do anything. So, my heart always broke for my mother because I remember how badly she wanted to be physically able to do what other moms were doing. This taught me how to really put others before myself because I would a lot of the time get my mom and me to go do something else, she could do, and these nights brought me some of the best memories.

There is one specific memory I have from when my mom was away getting her transplant. I had a big soccer game one night and I was so nervous because I couldn’t have any family come or anything because they were all getting my mom moved into the hospital and started up on her treatments and getting her comfortable and all. The game starts and the second I look over to the fence I see my mom standing there with my dad. She came to surprise me and put me over herself even when she was in so much pain. It just shows how selfless my mother is even in the midst of her trial and tribulation. Her showing up changed everything for me.

I remember the night my mom told my sister and I what the doctors finally found out about her sickness and that she was being diagnosed with this life threading disease. I remember being so scared for her and feeling helpless because there was nothing, I could do to help her anymore it was getting too bad. She then proceeded to tell us that she needs to go to Duke University to get a transplant. I didn’t know what to think because she was going to be gone for quite some time and at that age, I didn’t really realize how big of a deal a stem cell transplant is. When she got there, I remember her telling us that she was also one of guinea pigs for this transplant and that scared me even more because that means we would have no idea the outcome of anything. I also couldn’t visit her much because it was so far away, and I had school and soccer so I would only get to face time her and I really wanted to be there to serve her and help take care of her. I missed my mom so much during these years.

My mom is the reason I wouldn’t give up during some of the hardest moments of my life and my families. I grew up playing soccer and during my freshman year of high-school I had a major injury that was going to be a long-time recovery before I could play again but, the reason I kept going was because of my mom. She gave me motivation, drive, inspiration, and encouragement. When I felt like I couldn’t or wouldn’t ever play again she would always remind me I can do anything I put my mind too and she wouldn’t just say that she was also showing me with her actions and how hard she fought in and out of hospitals. My mom has always pushed me to be better by just simply beating this disease to the ground even when other sickness gets piled on top for her, she doesn’t ever stay down she gets back up again… every. single. time.

Now financially this has been hard on my family and my mom will sometimes bear that burden on her shoulders and I hate that. She feels sometimes like it is her fault she has this sickness and beats herself up about how much money has gone towards this illness and not her children, but I’m reminded these life experiences shape who we are today, it’s not about the money. It’s about how whenever something seems so wrong it can bring a family or community closer together and that is the beauty in what this has done for my family. We are such a close-knit family in every single corner from immediate family to distant cousins and that is the biggest blessing I could have ever received during a time when my mom felt like there was no one around.

Watching her through pictures and videos for almost half a year grew our bond to each other even stronger because it showed me how much my mom is a light in my life but also in our household and others. She doesn’t like to give herself much credit, but she is using her illness for good and to Glorify the Kingdom of Heaven by finding peace and joy in the unknown. This is something I will forever hold on to whenever I think back to my teenage years because my mother was a prime example for me when it comes to being a fighter. This will be a story I tell forever to anyone I encounter because my mother has truly changed my life and has also been the most formative figure whether she wants to believe it or not.