Scleroderma Warriors Scholarship Essay

I stared longingly at the knitting needles on the counter, and then down at my red, swollen hands. There would be no knitting this morning, and possibly none for the rest of the day. I could at least manage to write for classes, but my favorite hobby – knitting – required more flexibility and strength in my hands that I simply did not have. What would life be like if I could no longer knit because of scleroderma, and what more would I lose in the future from this disease? These were real questions I faced when I was first diagnosed with scleroderma in March 2022, and I was petrified with fear. Now, after almost two years have passed since my diagnosis, I can confidently say that I did not succumb to this fear. Instead, I have grown from this diagnosis. More specifically, scleroderma has changed my life by teaching me to become more passionate, be persistent, and stay grateful.

One of the key lessons I learned from scleroderma is to become more passionate in everything I do, whether it be working on my knitting, finishing coursework, or completing simple day-to-day tasks such as taking care of my rabbits. Scleroderma taught me that I need to be passionate now because some of these activities might one day become inaccessible. At first, I only applied this concept to my knitting by working at The Knittery Nook & Fibre Co., a local knitting store in Ames, IA, but I quickly changed my mind set and focused on other areas as well – even areas that I don’t anticipate losing as quickly in the future. This includes my passion for rabbits: I began fostering a rabbit for New Beginnings Rabbit Rescue (and I quickly became a foster failure, meaning I adopted the rabbit I was fostering), and I frequently donate food to their shelter. I also began my master’s in applied statistics at the University of Memphis, and I’m currently participating in an internship with the USDA for mathematical statistics. I learned that if I remain passionate, I will continue to thrive, regardless of how the scleroderma develops.

In addition to becoming more passionate, I have also learned to be persistent from scleroderma. My three main symptoms from scleroderma that I experience are Raynaud’s phenomenon, swollen hands, and difficulty swallowing from acid reflux. However, when my feet become as cold as ice and my toes turn blue from Raynaud’s phenomenon, I always warm them up; when my hands swell and enlarge, I always cool them down; and when my throat doesn’t want to push down food, I (gently) force it down with liquids. In addition, I had to be persistent to get the diagnosis by getting an esophageal manometry, which is a throat function test. This was an extremely uncomfortable test, but I had to persist through it to get the diagnosis. Throughout all of this, I’ve had to be persistent to make sure that scleroderma doesn’t define who I am, but rather teaches me to be a better version of myself.

I believe the biggest impact scleroderma has made on me is that it made me grateful for my support system around me. I could not have gotten through the past two years without my family, friends, and boyfriend. Although my family lives away from me, they never fail to answer the phone when I need them, and they make me laugh when I am feeling down. My friends are the same way now that we have graduated with our bachelor’s degrees; we constantly connect, and I lean on them when I need a smile. My boyfriend has meant the world to me throughout this process. He has provided me with the most love and support I could ask for, including someone to talk to, a shoulder to cry on, and pure joy and laughter. I have become extremely grateful for my support system, and I couldn’t have gotten through this process without them.

Overall, scleroderma has changed my life by teaching me to become more passionate, be persistent, and stay grateful. Although I was once afraid of my scleroderma diagnosis, it can no longer keep me down because I know that there is a community of warriors like me, and that gives me hope. This scholarship would greatly help me pursue my graduate degree in applied statistics at the University of Memphis. I appreciate your time reading this essay and my application.